Joe De Matteo

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A couple of Laughs
by Joseph De Matteo

Taking a bath Calvin style


            There are very few inedible souvenirs that I want to get. I don’t have a lot of interests that you could base a souvenir on, nor do I collect things like salt and pepper shakers; and let me tell you, I certainly don’t like plates and such that say “Niagara Falls.”

            My son brings me something from every trip, he knows me well, and he knows what I’ll be happy with.  While local booze or wine always brings a smile, I do have a favorite.  I’ll give you an example of his uncanny ability at picking winners for me.  Two years ago he went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.  From that trip he brought me an outstanding shot glass from the D-Day museum...and hot sauce.  You see, hot sauce, for me, is a great gift for any occasion, but an obscure brand of hot sauce, from an exotic place is a thing to be treasured.

            Cuyahoga River Skim, Vintage 1969 (Caution: Toxic & Flamable); Reggie’s Blue Bonnet Flame Out; Eduardo’s Famous Green Pepper Condiment and Truth Serum; Wong’s Atomic Hot Sauce; Lester’s Fully Insured Hot Sauce; Benny’s Burger Napalm; Chuck’s Chunky Hell Drippings; Rodney’s Universal Solvent and Chili Picker-upper; The Puebla Punisher; West Texas Torture.  Tabasco is great, I eat it every day,  But I love trying, and sometimes dying, behind a few liberal shakes of an obscure hot sauce.

           His New Orleans trip was most profitable.  Along with the shot glass with the cool D-Day museum logo, I got a 4-pack called: Dave’s Hot Sauce Variety. READ THE FULL ESSAY

 Copyright 2004 Joseph De Matteo all rights reserved.

Items of Interest mentioned in this essay

Joseph De Matteo, FalconRun, Inc., 31 Walnut St, New Windsor, NY 12553

Joseph De Matteo


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